Dating sites are interesting places. It is a way to meet people, all kinds of people, people I wouldn’t ever even give a second glance to on the street. Over the months I’ve expanded, condensed, edited and rewritten my profile so it is now a comprehensive, information-filled, hopefully-non-wordy guide to self elimination (from my dating pool).
At the moment my self summary reads :
Relationship anarchist. Broken and afraid to love. Let’s be friends first. Not a plaything or a Ms Right. FwB or casual sex is okay, but not one night stands, and not too quick okay? If you can’t chat consistently for at least a week before mentioning you’re horny.. Please swipe left.
Likes: Cats & Ducks. Science & tech. Intersectional human rights & LGBT activism. Empathy & self awareness. Multiculturalism. Food. Crochet. Leftist politics. Cooking & baking. Tattoos. Sloe gin. Cuddles. Musicals & theatre. Classical music & symphonic metal. Charity work & humanism. Sci-fi & fantasy.
Not interested in meeting couples, cheaters, racists, bigots, right-wingers, anti-vaccers or science denialists.
Random facts :
I was in Sierra Leone during the Ebola Crisis and came back slightly crazier. Life is short!
I don’t own a TV!
BE creative, don’t ask me where I’m originally from because the answer is EARTH!!
Injury prone and not sporty, but long walks and camping are good. Climbing too but it’s been a while.
I love babies but I’m not ever getting pregnant. Do plan to foster or adopt older, troubled kids once I have a spare room and a more flexible job.
Not into horoscopes or Myers-Brigg. Pseudoscience isn’t my cup of tea.
I cook good vegan food (am east Asian so I know at least 10 different types of tofu and know how to incorporate it into all sorts of dishes!), and if you are vegan I’m happy to be vegan when I’m with you, but I’m afraid I can’t give up meat or I risk malnutrition.
Spoiler alert: I like reading the questions and answers and I start with Ethics and move my way down to sex.. I think that gives an idea of what’s more important to me!
If your profile is empty, don’t expect me to answer questions about me until you’ve told me as much about you as my profile has told you about me.
Add to the above the other profile bits. And then there are the 150 questions I have answered and commented on…
So… with that in mind… some people send beautifully crafted messages appealing to multiple facets of me, listing things they have in common, and often with something interesting about themselves that they think would interest me.
These people who send “Hi, how are you” messages. I don’t really understand what they are expecting from me. Does anyone really think they will attract a girl that way? Maybe there are some girls out there who they might attract. But what in my profile gives them the impression that a “Hi” would be enough to get my attention?
It is dependent on my mood, but sometimes I like being polite. Not as a wind up, but just being nice ya know. What happens when I’m being nice though… they expect more niceness. Hey.. I could have save time by unmatching, but I took the effort to send a message back saying ‘sorry, not my type’. and they start going ‘but you don’t know me’. Well.. I know you that you haven’t taken any effort to read my profile. I know that you haven’t taken any effort to write out a message which will really get my attention. I know that you have an empty profile, and if you have indeed read mine, you will see that i have written “If your profile is empty, don’t expect me to answer questions about me until you’ve told me as much about you as my profile has told you about me.” Which can only mean…. you haven’t read my profile. IF you haven’t read my profile.. what makes you think I would even want to chat with you? The mind boggles.. If you don’t care about what I HAVE put out there for YOU to read, I do not have confidence that you WILL care about me, the real me, the human me, the woman me. ME me.
All I am to them is just meat isn’t it? A vagina to fuck? Well, this vagina has a highly intelligent brain attached to it (and don’t think that saying you are sapiosexual will flatter me, in my opinion, sapiosexuals tend to be jerks). This vagina has a bleeding heart attached it. A scientifically trained brain attached to it. A pair of activist kidneys and an empathic liver attached to it. I also have small and large intestines, which are excellent shit filters (shit eliminators to be more accurate).
You want my attention? You gotta to appeal to all of it because I am all of those things. If you do not appeal to my activism, my empathy, my passions and my brain? If you can’t get past my shit filters, I’m sorry but you simply aren’t appealing to my vagina. You can fuck off and go back to the hole you just crawled out of.
The Empathic Snail 