Pens & Sex – The Problems.

pensexI called out the problems with this picture on an lgbt group yesterday, and as usual – the OP insisted it was just a joke and no one will really use this to teach children and so on and so forth.

I stand by what I said – and my role as the softest, gentlest, most unaggressive teacher that can ever exist.  I don’t even want to be the person calling this out.  I don’t like conflict and confrontation.  But sometimes, if no one is calling something problematic out – I have to.  I will not sit in silence and I would rather not sit a group which shares things like that and not call it out.  Yes I agree that it can be a joke.  Not funny… but YKIOK.  In a group of 4000 though, I want to be sure that anyone who sees it, also at the very least have the OPTION of reading the reasons why sharing this is NOT OK.

So here goes.  (in no order of problamaticness, they are all problems as far as i’m concerned)

  1. Why red and blue?  I know it isn’t explicitly stated, but the gendered colours and some of the labels used does give away that the creator intend the red to be girls and the blue to be girls.
  2. Including the pedophile label in there, along with everything else is NOT ok.  This is accepting and conflating paedophile into other acceptable, if controversial sexualities and that is never EVER okay.
  3. Why is interracial black and red?  What about the browns and the yellows?
  4. Gang Bang = Lots of men one woman?  Cis-Hetero-Patriarchal much?  Why can’t it be lots of women for one man?  Women have no penises? Hmmm.. Ever heard of pegging?
  5. Harem = Lots of women one man?  Erm.. does this imply that the women are ‘kept’ women?  Cause… in the relationships I’m aware off (*coughs… my own) where there are more women than men… none of us are kept women, and we are sooo not part of a harem.  I would love to have a harem to myself too.. and you know what.. I want both men and women it it… it will be awesome.
  6. Shemale – the term itself.  It is a term which is extremely disliked by the trans community and should never be used – even as a joke.
  7. The whole picture’s usage as a joke itself – A golden rule of comedy is to punch up and not punch down.  In the case of this picture? I don’t think there is a single downtrodden community who can use it without punching other downtrodden community without going into the minutia of the privilege ladder and oppression olympics.

The bottomline is that this post is NOT OK no matter how you swing it.  How you pitch it.  How much you insist it is a joke – it is just NOT ok.

My explanation of all this in that facebook group got deleted because the OP got defensive.  Even though I explained that I understand it was meant as a joke, and I explained my reasons for writing my points was for education of the rest of the group in general.  He got defensive and took it down.  And then he mansplained me…. so yea… it is that level of juvenile backchat.

I’ve left the group for now, and it’s not my first time.  I have more important things to do with my life.  Two evenings at at the charity this week, and other stuff planned for wednesday, friday and saturday.  I also have new post up on my cooking blog.  🙂


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